Mistletoe
by Mistress-of-utter-mayhem
Summary: DMCG. It's Christmastime and Celtic really, really hates mistletoe, but could this year give him what he's wanted most? Yaoi.


Author's Note: I know it's not Christmas, but I wanted to put this up because there are so few Dark Magician x Celtic Guardian fics! This is my first one so be kind but also be honest with me, please. This story is told from the Celtic Guardian's POV.

Mistletoe 

Christmas. It is a human holiday and revolves around giving gifts and throwing elaborate parties. It is a total waste of time, in my opinion. It is not that I do not like a good get-together it is just that I cannot stand having one that makes me watch people kiss under this stupid little plant. I know that if I go I will be tortured by watching everyone but me get to kiss…him. I won't be able to stand it! By 'him' I am talking about Dark as in Pharaoh Yami's Dark Magician. I cannot stand to watch him kiss anyone else. That is what I get for stupidly falling in love with him. Maybe now is a good time to introduce myself. I am Yami and Yugi's Celtic Guardian. I am known as Celtic for short. I am also currently trying to see if I can get myself killed before the Christmas party being held tonight.

It is not working, if you couldn't tell by now. I happen to still be around and wondering just how in Ra's name I am going to get through this night. I wonder if Kaiba will kill me just because I am a pitiful excuse for a monster. I think I'll go find out. "Hey, Kaiba," I call. Ah, there is his patent 'what do you want you poor excuse for a Duel monster?' sneer. "Do you want to kill me just for the fun of it?"

"Why would I waste my time with a sad excuse for a warrior such as yourself?" Nope, he's not interested. Damn! What is it going to take to get someone to kill me or at least injury me enough so that I don't have to go to this stupid party and watch everyone kiss Dark under the mistletoe? Well, saying that everyone is going to kiss him under the mistletoe is a bit extreme. The only one I don't want to see kiss Dark is the Dark Magician Girl. I swear that female hounds him all of the time. It really grates on my nerves and the fact that I am not strong enough to kill her makes it even worse.

Well, it's time for the party and guess what? I am still here, which means that I am going to murder someone before this night is over…or at least I am going to try to murder someone. Sigh, why do I torture myself like this? I doubt Dark even knows that I exist. I should be so lucky that he knows my name. Grr, there is that stupid Dark Magician Girl and she is trying to persuade him to stand under the mistletoe with her. Oh how I wish I could run her through with my sword. Stupid bint doesn't deserve a mage such as Dark. Even I don't deserve him. I will just stand here in the corner and act like I am invisible until I can find a good time to leave. No one is really going to miss me so that is not going to be a problem.

Well, there is the door so now I shall go and get out of here before Dark is caught underneath the mistletoe by a duel monster. As I reach the door a hand catches my shoulder. "Celtic, leaving so soon?" a very familiar, very sexy voice asks. I turn to stare right into the most beautiful blue eyes I have ever seen.

"Umm…well…it's just that I really don't get anything out of these little get-togethers so I just decided that I could amuse myself better alone," I manage to respond without squeaking.

"Well, I was kind of hoping that you would stay around at least for the dancing," Dark comments. That comment completely floors me and I turn around quickly.

"Wh-why?" I ask almost breathlessly.

"Because I wanted to see if I might be able to dance with you," the way too sexy mage answers. All right, I know what you're thinking. You are saying to yourself yeah right, he's daydreaming this and I'll tell you what…so do I. As much as I have wished for something like this to happen, I don't know what to say so I look up and guess what is hanging over our heads; the mistletoe.

"Th-that sounds wonderful," I answer, "but at the moment there is something else we need to discuss." He looks at me curiously and I just point up knowing that my voice was not going to work properly. His blue eyes widen when he sees just what I am pointing at and then they do something I wasn't expecting. They sparkle happily. I swear Dark looks like nothing better could have befallen him and I…well I am busy wondering if I am about to get skewered. I swallow again as I watch him and I wonder what he is about to do. In two seconds he leans down and kisses me tenderly on the lips. I swear for the next thirty seconds the world stops. I have never felt so gloriously happy. He kissed me! He actually kissed me! "Wow," I manage to say once we part. How pathetic was that? Dark, however, does not seem to think that because he smiles again at me. Oh, I must be dreaming. There is absolutely no way that Dark just kissed me under the mistletoe and acted like that was what he wanted.

"Mmmm," is his response. I am so deliriously happy…for about two seconds.

"Oh, Dark, you poor thing! How did you get yourself caught under the mistletoe with…that?" If you cannot guess who it is then obviously you cannot see the way I am staring at her murderously. It is the stupid Dark Magician Girl. I now want to rip out her lungs and use them for balloons. How dare she disrespect me? I have done nothing to deserve such things said and definitely not when I am in earshot. Dark's reaction surprises me.

"What did you just say?" he growls. It takes me a few moments to realize that he is rather angry with the blonde haired bint.

"I just said that it is such a shame that you had to kiss such a revolting creature like Celtic," she answers in her pouty voice. Dark's eyes narrow dangerously and I swear he looks like he's about ready to fry her where she stands. I honestly cannot at the moment see why, though.

"Revolting…Celtic? The only revolting creature here is you!" Dark spits back with such fury that it silences the wench. She is not the only shocked one. I am staring at Dark like I have never seen him in my life. He's standing up for me? Dear gods the world did end! "Further more, if you do not leave, I am afraid that I will lose what little restraint I am able to find and might just end up doing everyone a favor by killing you!"

"I don't see what you are so mad about, Dark. I mean, this is Celtic we're talking about," she says giving him her most sultry look. Please, Dark don't fall for it…please? Oh yeah, I think he looks even more irritated than he did just a few seconds ago.

"I am well aware of who we are currently discussing, you blonde bitch and quite frankly I have no idea where you think you are going to get if you keep giving me that look other than a quick trip to the card graveyard. You are vain, petty, and a poor excuse for a duel monster. I could never like someone like you," Dark tells her.

"And you could possibly have feelings for this blonde MALE elf?" she asks as if she could already predict his answer. Here it comes. I am about to be the most rejected Duel Monster in the entire Shadow Realm. I just hope that I am allowed a little bit of privacy after he rips my heart out and smashes it on the floor.

"Not could, Dark Magician Girl, DO. I happen to find Celtic extremely intelligent, witty, and not to mention drop-dead gorgeous. You just cannot compete with him," he responds. No, I am not making this up. He really said this. I am, of course, still standing there in plain view listening to this and wondering when I am going to wake up from this most delightful of dreams.

"What?" Dark Magician Girl asks as if she did not hear.

"I happen to find Celtic extremely witty, intelligent, and sexy. Is there anything that you don't understand?" he retorts. I do not think my eyes can get any wider than they are at the moment. Why in the world is he saying these things? He cannot possibly be serious…can he? He suddenly sees me and realizes that I have obviously heard the entire conversation. I can only smile weakly at him since my voice and the rest of me had decided not to work properly.

"What are you doing standing there, Celtic? I do not remember having you in the conversation," Dark Magician Girl snaps at me. Now I find my voice.

"Well, excuse me for being tonight's topic of discussion, you blonde haired bitch! Why don't you take a hint, leave Dark alone, and go away before you end up dead?" I answer her. I have had all that I can stand from the stupid wench and I am not taking any more from her tonight.

"What did you just say? Did I just hear you tell me to leave Dark alone? Since when do you deserve him, you poor excuse for a Duel Monster?" she spits back at me. Those words really stung but I manage not to show the hurt look on my face.

"I never said I deserved him, Dark Magician Girl. I am just saying that he obviously does not like you so leave him alone! You have no idea how sick I am of watching you throw yourself at him. Take a hint. He does NOT want you!" I growl back. I have no why I am suddenly so emboldened that I am sticking up to her but I like it. It makes me feel like I am actually accomplishing something.

"If he does not like me then he sure as hell should not like YOU! You are revolting, pathetic, stupid, and the poorest excuse for a Duel Monster I have ever met! I am shocked that our Pharaoh has such a failure in his deck!" The Dark Magician Girl says back harshly. Ouch, that really hurt. There are few things that I can stand having others say to me and that is definitely one of them. I have to look away for I can no longer meet her knowing gaze. She knows that is a weak point. She knows how I hate somone pointing out my inadequacy at being one of the Pharaoh's Duel Monsters.

"How dare you?" Dark suddenly growls. Oops, I forgot he was still standing there.

"How dare I what? You know as well as I do that I speak the truth! Celtic does not deserve to be one of our Pharaoh's monsters! He weak, pathetic, and gives us a bad name," she answers petulantly.

"Now that is not true. The only one, who gives duel monsters a bad name around here, is you," he spits at her angrily. "Further more, the only one who decides who is not in this deck is Yami himself and he does not seem to find anything in Celtic that is lacking as Celtic is one of his favorite monsters!"

"He is right," a new voice says. Oh Ra, it's Yami. I suddenly feel a hand under my chin and my head is tilted up to meet the violet eyes of my duelist. "Celtic, do not listen to her. She is wrong on all accounts about you. You more than deserve to be in my deck and everyone else would agree wholeheartedly. You are the heart of this deck and you keep everyone together. Do not doubt your worth." I can only nod at him. Truthfully, I never knew how much I was wanted in the deck until now. "Dark, if she continues to harass you or Celtic, blast her," Yami says before walking off. Dark grins and nods. I am just kind of standing here trying to comprehend everything I have learned. Let's see, ah yes, Dark is sounding like he likes me and the Pharaoh told me that not only does he think rather highly of me, but the others feel that I am the heart of the deck. There, I think I covered just about everything. Man, this has been quite arguably the strangest night of my life. What else needs to happen?

I suddenly remember that the Dark Magician Girl is still standing near me and I turn towards her. Uh oh, she looks down right pissed-off. I am in such deep trouble. I watch, unable to move, as she raises her staff towards me. She's about to send me to the Graveyard for absolutely no reason. Well, I have lived a good life. At least I know what Dark's lips feel like against mine. I never will know how it feels to be held tightly in those strong arms but I guess that is just how it goes sometimes. "Dark Magic Attack!"

How many times am I going to forget that Dark is standing right there? Obviously she did too or else she would not have tried to attack me. I watch, in amusement, as she gets blasted into oblivion. No one is going to miss her very much. Dark gives a curt nod of satisfaction before turning and facing me again. Once again, I am completely speechless and can only stare at the vision of beauty before me. Gods how pathetic can I get? "Are you all right, Celtic?" he asks worriedly. I give him a weak smile and I nod. I hope he understands that it is his close proximity that is making it very difficult for me to keep coherent in anything. He smiles at me and I feel my legs go weak. Oh wonderful, I am about to fall onto the floor. How humiliating! The moment that I go forward, two strong arms wrap around me and I find myself pulled into a strong embrace. "For an elf, you sure are lacking in the grace department," he teases me. I just give him this annoyed scowl which he promptly starts to laugh at. I know that even when mad I still look adorable. It is a curse I tell you! Do you have any idea of how annoying it is to glare at someone and have them fall over laughing at how not scary or intimidating you look? I cannot stand that.

"Did anyone tell you that being mean to someone never gets you anywhere?" I retort to him. He just gives me that sweet smile of his and I positively melt. How in the world could he want someone like me? He is the picture of masculine perfection and he is strong to boot! I cannot help but wonder what he could see in me.

"Has anyone told you how positively irresistible you are?" Dark whispers as he carries me to his room. I look at him.

"N-no, why?" I ask.

"Because you are. I do not see why everyone is not falling over themselves to get to you," he answers.

"They want you," I tell him, "You are much better looking and are more powerful than I could or ever will be."

"You, Celtic, are the kindest most giving Duel Monster I have ever been honored to meet. You might not have the physical strength that I do, but you have the strongest heart of anyone," he answers. I melt hearing that. Can you believe this? He is so sweet! Gods, I am getting sappy. "Also, you are the most delectable looking elf I have ever seen." Oh gods, he had to say that didn't he? Now I am never going to be able to hide my arousal. He gives me this look that quite plainly tells me I am the main course of a menu and he is quite pleased to eat me. I know that I am blushing and it probably only makes me look more adorable. I truly hate being an elf. I have no place being a warrior if I cannot strike fear in the hearts of my enemies. Well, that is not important at the moment. What is important is that Dark obviously sees something in me or he wouldn't be here with me now. Ooh, Dark just decided that he does not like my shirt. He seems to like what he sees because he keeps looking up and down my bare chest. I have to admit that I am in very good shape, although for an elf and a warrior I should be. Ooh, that should be illegal to do with his tongue. Mmmm…oh could I get used to this. You know what, I think I am going to change my mind. I think Mistletoe is a very good thing. Ohhhhhh, yes, a very good thing indeed!

The End!


End file.
